After dealing with Jesus’ first commandment to love God above everything and to make your life a living sacrifice according to His purpose, Paul moves on to the second commandment — about how we should be dealing with God’s creations, and what love for one another truly looks like in practice.
Sincere Love Requires Discernment
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Romans 12:9 (NIV)
How can we hate evil and love good if we don’t know what is good according to God?
In order to genuinely hate evil and love what is good, we must first establish a relationship with God, who reveals to us His definition of goodness. It is through walking closely with Him that we gain clarity on what to despise and what to embrace. When we personally experience God’s love, we can start to extend that love to others authentically. Without God in our lives, we may struggle in our friendships and fellowships; when we notice the flaws in others, it becomes difficult to love them. The same is true for marriages that lack a God-centered foundation; simply marrying in a church does not automatically sanctify the union. We need to be aligned with God as we make important decisions, like choosing a life partner, ensuring we listen for His guidance.
Likewise in church, we often seek connections based on wealth or influence, hoping to gain something in return. Such motivations can lead to superficial relationships focused on worldly benefits. However, if we allow God to guide our connections, we will be able to love others sincerely, regardless of their shortcomings, knowing that He is the one who has united us. We need discernment before we can judge what to hate and what to love. Left to ourselves, we define good and evil according to our own understanding. When we look back at our past actions, we can see how wrong or misguided the decisions we made truly were. Even if things are not entirely clear to us right now, our conviction in God can at least take us in the right direction — turning us away from what harms and drawing us toward what is good.
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:11-12 (NIV)
Why do people ignore these words of Jesus that even Paul reiterates?
These verses are drawn directly from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount — a message of humility and serving others. Yet being in the world and enjoying the comforts and distractions the world offers makes it very hard to live according to these words. We simply do not have the heart for it. We pick and choose what we want to follow, selecting the parts that suit us while quietly setting aside the rest.
But if our hearts are truly tuned to Jesus, we will naturally want to do everything He says. It is only when we humble ourselves that we can genuinely honour others. Jesus Himself humbled himself, and because of that, the desire to help and serve became effortless for Him. That same spirit of humbleness is what Paul is calling us to carry when dealing with the people God has placed around us.
Praying for Our Persecutors
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Romans 12:14-16 (NIV)
Are we doing these things? We may try to show the world that we do, but if our love were genuine, it would show in our attitude toward everyone—not just toward the people in our church community. True love cannot be selectively applied. It reveals itself in how we treat those who can offer us nothing in return. Worldly love looks for benefit and what we can get in return for our actions, but true love expects nothing in return and is always ready to give more.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:17-18 (NIV)
Does Paul leave room for the idea that there are some people we should stay away from?
Paul says, “as far as it depends on you” — which suggests he understood that peace with everyone is not always fully within our control. However, the instruction remains to not prejudge anyone, to give people a chance, and not to be quick to hate. We should leave a window of opportunity open for God’s love to work when He chooses. There are times when staying away from someone and loving them from a distance is wiser than coming closer and allowing hatred to grow. In that case, distance is not rejection but an act of love, where we continue to pray for their lives and for God to bless them.
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:19 (NIV)
Does God take revenge on our behalf as Paul believes?
This is a common belief among believers today — that we simply have to bite our tongue, pray, and trust God to quiet our oppressors or punish our accusers. David held the same belief when he prayed for the downfall of his enemies, and Paul here is encouraging the church to leave the avenging of their honour to God.
But in all of this, we are forgetting something important. God is the Creator of all mankind — of all creation. If someone abuses us, He will not silence them on our behalf or pour out His wrath upon one of His own creatures to satisfy our sense of justice. He did not even intervene on Jesus’ behalf when the world was executing His own Son. What makes us think, then, that He will set aside His love for another one of His creations for the purposes of extracting our revenge?
Overcome Evil With Good
If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.
Romans 12:20 (NIV)
How will repaying evil with good affect our enemies — won’t they simply take advantage of our generosity?
People will take advantage of us. They will manipulate things. Joseph forgave his brothers, and in return, they again deceived him, attributing words to their father Jacob that he never actually said. So the forgiveness did not necessarily produce the outcome we might hope for in the other person. Yet Joseph’s forgiveness was not wasted — it shaped him, protected him, and positioned him within God’s purpose.
Similarly, even if we face persecution or people taking advantage of us, that is not something that should deter us from doing good but should be all the more reason to persevere. Our rejection of God did not stop Him from doing the ultimate good in our life by sending His Son, and as His followers, we should not let anyone deter us from doing good in their lives.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:21 (NIV)
How can we practically overcome evil with good?
We cannot overcome evil with good directly through our own understanding or willpower. If we approach it as a deliberate strategy — knowingly deciding to “overcome evil with good” as an act of personal discipline — it will never truly happen from the heart. But if we stay with God through the good and the bad, we will one day look back and realise that we have overcome evil.
The evil we are really up against is not only outside of us — it is within us. It was Cain who was first told that sin is crouching at the door and desires to have him, and that he must master it. The evilness within us is what prevents us from genuinely loving others. Our desire for evil must not be allowed to overcome our desire to do good. Patience is the key — patience with others, and patience with ourselves, asking God for more of it. We cannot manufacture this transformation. But if we remain close to God, He will do the work in us, and we will witness His Love in our actions.
The Jordan Valley 
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