We often claim to love one another, and in many cases, this love stems from our love for God. Our love for God is usually a response to His love for us—He loved us first, even when we were unlovable and, at times, unable to love ourselves. While loving God is a noble and essential act, if it remains only a reciprocal response, it is incomplete. Human nature tends to love those who love us and hate those who hate us. But Jesus, for the first time, taught us to love even those who are difficult to love. To help us live out this truth, God allows certain situations in our lives where we are called to demonstrate His love to others. To truly embrace this lesson, we must always remember that God loved us unconditionally, even when we were completely unworthy of His love.
John’s Perspective on Loving Others
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. – 1 John 4:19-21 (NIV)
Why does John emphasise the importance of loving our brothers and sisters? He explains that if we cannot love the people we see every day, it is unrealistic to claim that we love God, whom we cannot see. John begins by affirming that we love God because He first loved us, and therefore, we are called to love one another. However, the challenge arises because we are often conditioned to love only those who love us in return. Unlike God, who loves unconditionally, people around us—including our brothers and sisters—often do not express love first, making it hard for us to reciprocate.
Why, then, do our brothers and sisters sometimes fail to love us? One of the greatest obstacles to love is envy. Where envy exists, hatred often follows. Many want to lead but resist being led. Even Jesus’ own brothers were envious of Him because they did not want to submit to His leadership. Similarly, the Pharisees and Sadducees felt threatened by Jesus, as they saw themselves as learned leaders. Their envy turned into hostility, which ultimately led them to plot His death.
We see this pattern in the story of Joseph. When he shared the vision God gave him, his brothers became jealous and sold him into slavery. Likewise, the true feelings of Job’s friends were exposed during his suffering, revealing jealousy and judgment instead of compassion.
Since no one in this world can love us as deeply and purely as God does, we cannot rely solely on reciprocal love when it comes to our relationships with others. Our love for our brothers and sisters must be initiated, not just returned. That is why John clearly teaches that if we cannot take the first step in loving those who fail us, the love we claim to have for God—though it may be genuine—will not bear its intended fruit.
Being Loved
Parents naturally love their children, and children feel secure and safe when they experience that love. However, children do not remain children forever—they grow into adults. As they mature, their perception of love changes. Even though their parents may still love them deeply, grown children may not feel it in the same way and often long for love in new forms. This shift in perspective mirrors what happens in the spiritual life of believers. As we grow in faith, our understanding of God’s love evolves, and at times, we may even feel abandoned. But God firmly assures us that He will never forsake us.
If we continue to believe in and cherish God’s love—even when the devil tries to convince us otherwise—we will gain the strength to love even those who seem unlovable. People often create emotional boundaries and label others as unworthy of love. In such cases, God frequently brings these very people into our lives, giving us the opportunity to grow in love by overcoming judgment and reproach.
Being loved infuses a person with confidence and joy, but it can also stir jealousy in those who merely observe. Material jealousy often drives people to desire what others possess. A classic example is the marketing slogan used by a television brand back in the 90s: “Neighbour’s envy, owner’s pride.” This slogan reveals how easily pride can incite envy in others—and how often we unintentionally provoke it.
Even John, the disciple known for his deep love, experienced this dynamic. Because he was especially loved by Jesus, he attracted the envy of some fellow disciples. This suggests that in his early years, John may have struggled with pride. Yet, over time, the overwhelming love of God refined him, gradually consuming and replacing his pride with true humility and love.
The prophet Isaiah foresaw this inner transformation in John, and the Scriptures extend this change not just to him, but to all of us. The message is not merely about Ephraim and Judah—it speaks directly to our own lives.
Ephraim’s jealousy will vanish, and Judah’s enemies will be destroyed; Ephraim will not be jealous of Judah, nor Judah hostile toward Ephraim. – Isaiah 11:13 (NIV)
Why Are We Forsaken By People?
When our loved ones turn against us, it often becomes too painful to bear. But instead of being overwhelmed, we must pause and ask: Why are they turning against us? Perhaps it is our hidden pride—pride in being admired parents or respected mentors—that causes this inner turmoil. Somehow, in the process of sharing God’s unconditional love, envy and pride creep in and hinder us from genuinely expressing His love to others. We must recognise that pride is often the root of our downfall. To deal with this pride, Jesus may allow division in our closest relationships. Jesus Himself said:
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’”
— Matthew 10:34–36 (NIV)
This statement from the Prince of Peace might surprise many. But Jesus was not referring to the worldly idea of peace—a fragile harmony built on mutual benefits. Instead, He came to bring His peace, a divine peace rooted in truth and transformation. Unfortunately, many believers today strive to maintain worldly peace—peace that exists as long as desires are fulfilled or love is returned. Such peace endures only as long as relationships are based on reciprocity.
However, God’s peace teaches us something deeper: to initiate love even when it’s difficult, and even when it is not returned. That’s why God calls us to let go of temporary, human-based reciprocal love and turn toward His eternal, irreplaceable love. When we are filled with God’s unconditional love, we can begin to love others freely, without expecting anything in return.
Worldly love operates on the basis of “give and take.” But God transforms that kind of love into one that takes the first step. And to bring about this transformation, He may allow conflict even within our families. At times, spouses may exchange harsh words, or children may act rebelliously—not to destroy us, but to expose our dependence on human relationships. This tension is not permanent because human ties still rely on mutual need.
If we learn to compromise and forgive those we depend on, how much more should we trust and depend on God, who leads us to eternal life? God wants us to rise above dependence-based love and learn individuality in Him—a state where we are filled with His love, regardless of others’ actions. Once we are rooted in this God given individuality, we can pour out His love freely. And such love, grounded in God, never fails.
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. – John 15:9-11 (NIV)
The Jordan Valley 
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