Navigating Expectations

Expectations are beneficial as long as they are fulfilled, but when they are not, they often become the primary source of our disappointment. Despite experiencing disappointment repeatedly, we continue to have expectations because, without them, life feels stagnant. Expectations serve as the driving force in our lives and help us form connections with others. If we expect nothing from someone, it usually indicates a lack of interest in maintaining a relationship with them. In this sense, expectations are the foundation of our social nature. While it is true that humans cannot thrive in isolation, does this imply that we should depend on others to fulfil our expectations?

Expectation Separates Us From God

As long as someone meets our expectations, we feel no need for help from anyone else, including God. We often fail to thank God and instead become overly dependent on the person assisting us. Our expectations, however, are endless. When one person fulfils all our desires, our expectations grow, placing an increasing burden on that individual. Eventually, this overwhelming pressure forces them to withdraw their support, and frustration sets in. We neither acknowledge the strain we placed on them nor appreciate what they did for us, causing the relationship to break down. This shows that, often, we build relationships primarily to fulfil our own needs.

When we disconnect from people who no longer help us, we feel isolated. In such moments, we are hesitant to turn back to God because we’ve become reliant on people and forgotten how to depend on Him. Some even depend on individuals who offer minimal help yet boast that the person’s survival depends solely on them. Shockingly, the recipient may begin to believe this, thinking they are nothing without such people.

If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied. – Corinthians 15:19 (NIV)

Those who seek God only for worldly provisions often distance themselves from Him when they believe they can obtain what they need without His guidance. They resist His call to holiness, convinced there is no reason to seek God when worldly resources appear readily available.

This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD. – Jeremiah 17:5 (NIV)

What Do We Expect?

Our expectations are shaped by our knowledge and experiences. We tend to expect what we observe in the lives of others, in shops, or on the internet. Beyond these, we also have expectations rooted in our dreams and aspirations. However, our assumptions about what we expect often lead to disappointment because these assumptions are frequently unrealistic. This makes it impossible to fulfil all our expectations.

For example, we might expect empty roads during a drive, our usual seat to be available at church, or a life free from challenges and difficult people. We might also wish for hidden truths to be revealed or for others’ wrongdoings to come to light. Additionally, we often desire everyone to love us and acknowledge us as a good person. In doing so, we overlook the fact that God loves us unconditionally and that He alone is truly good.

“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. – Mark 10:18 (NIV)

Realistically, we cannot be good to everyone. When we try to please everyone and appear good in their eyes, we may unintentionally compromise the values of God’s Word. However, as children of God, we must understand that such expectations often reflect our limited perspective, and the world doesn’t always align with our desires. We should not expect the world to change but should change ourselves.

Limitless Expectations Without Clarity

We often desire to be first, even in His Kingdom. The disciples themselves had a discussion about who among them would sit next to Jesus in His glory. Somehow, we expect everyone else to be subject to our command.

James and John replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.” – Mark 10:37 (NIV)

In response, Jesus asked them if they could fulfil the task assigned to Him. They confidently replied, “Yes, we can.” This highlights how our expectations can often be limitless, yet we may not fully understand what we are expecting. If Jesus’ divine mission could have been accomplished by any of us, there would have been no need for God to send His Son into the world. With great enthusiasm, we sometimes make the mistake of attempting to take on roles or responsibilities that belong to God alone. This is akin to a person acting rashly and taking the law into their own hands, often leading to undesirable outcomes.

Ephesians 3:20-21 seems to remind us to anticipate great things from God, assuring us that He can do far more than we could ever ask or imagine. This serves as an encouragement to trust in His power and goodness. Some believe that expecting great things from God should motivate us to attempt great things for Him, aligning our actions with His purpose. Rather than focusing on expecting more, we should reflect on all that God has already done and strive to live in a way that honours His unfailing grace.

This mindset often develops naturally within us. When we recognize that someone is both capable and willing to give to us, we tend to keep asking and, in turn, feel ready to do anything for them out of gratitude. With this sense of appreciation, our expectations grow, aligning with the encouragement from the prophet Isaiah to expand our capacity to receive greater blessings (Isaiah 54:2). However, the truth is that we often forget the good things we’ve received in the past. When someone fails to meet our expectations consistently, we may even begin to harbour resentment toward them, disregarding their previous kindness.

Is There Anything Else To Expect?

We have no need to expect anything from our Heavenly Father, as He has already provided everything necessary for us to live in peace, even before we express our desires. God knows our needs ahead of time and grants them without us having to ask (Matthew 6:8). However, we often continue to ask, driven by cravings that prevent us from bearing good fruit. In this light, even God Himself marvels.

What more could have been done for my vineyard than I have done for it?
When I looked for good grapes, why did it yield only bad? – Isaiah 5:4 (NIV)

Humanity never expected God to send His Son to save us, as we were unaware of our dire condition. Yet, in His infinite wisdom and unconditional love, God planned to redeem us from eternal death by offering the life of His own Son. No one asked for this incredible act of grace for the forgiveness of sin—God initiated it entirely out of His boundless love for us.

Ephesians 3:20-21 beautifully highlights God’s unimaginable grace. Rather than encouraging us to expect more from Him or to attempt great things for Him, it reveals the very nature of God, who works beyond our expectations and understanding. Should this not lead us to be satisfied with His grace, rather than continually expecting more?

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” – Romans 8:32 (NIV)

Many people continue to expect God to forgive their sins, repeatedly praying for forgiveness. However, we must understand that God has already forgiven humanity’s sin, even before we sought His mercy. Instead of letting unfulfilled expectations lead to disappointment, we should trust in God, knowing that He provides for us even before our desires take shape. When we fail to appreciate what God has done for us and focus solely on our unfulfilled desires, we may struggle to recognize the resurrected Lord.

This is exactly what happened with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. They lamented the shattering of their expectations and assumed Jesus was gone forever, despite Mary Magdalene’s message that He had risen. When we cling to our own expectations, the message of salvation may remain merely hearsay rather than a personal experience. Are we still waiting for God to meet our desires, or will we align our hearts and minds with what He has already accomplished?

This understanding should lead us to a heart of gratitude toward God, freeing us from relying on others or viewing God merely as a means to fulfil our desires. Instead, we can find peace in His perfect provision and grace, giving thanks for all He has done and continues to do. Remarkably, the following scripture now brings us the utmost satisfaction, not by urging us to expect more, but by reminding us of the completeness of His care.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. – Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)