People believe that choosing a spouse is in their own hands, rather than leaving it to divine intervention. They feel that God does not concern with whom they should marry, allowing them to make their own decisions in choosing a life partner. Yet, they attribute their decision to God by quoting the proverb “Marriages are made in Heaven”.
Solemnizing a wedding ceremony at a church or at a place of worship according to one’s respective faith does not turn our decision into God’s decision. Most people take the momentary happiness and peace they have when arriving at their own decision as divine peace. Later, they are unable to trace back the chaos occurring in their marital life to their hasty decision and start to wonder how the decision that was made in heaven ended up in hell.
The First Marriage And Its Ruin
God’s decision to unite a man and a woman in marriage stems from the heart of God as He said that it is not beneficial for a man to be alone. Despite people’s lack of understanding about God’s teachings on eternal life, the concept of marriage resonates with individuals as they mould it to suit their own desires, disregarding God’s intended purpose for every marriage.
So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Genesis 2:21-22 (NIV)
God created women to help men in their journey toward eternity (Genesis 2:24). This “helper” role should not be seen as a mere assistant, but rather as someone who plays a significant part, just like the Holy Spirit.
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
John 14:26 (ESV)
Behind every successful man, there is often a woman, whether it be a wife, mother, sister, or friend. However, it is important to note that a woman’s influence can be both positive and negative. While a supportive woman can help a man accomplish the will of God, it is also possible for a man to be led astray by a woman, as in the story of Adam and Eve.
In today’s society, the negligence of God’s teachings within families is not solely a husband’s or a wife’s fault. Still, it can also be attributed to people who have chosen to prioritize their relationships with their spouses over their commitment to God. Within a short span of time, Adam ruined his relationship with Eve by blaming her just to cover his mistake.
Unevenly Yoked Couples
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
2 Corinthians 6:14
Concerning the unmarried people in Corinth, Paul advised them to consider the faith of their potential partners before getting married. However, some married individuals also applied this advice, particularly when their spouses had different beliefs, leading to confusion about whether they should stay together. Paul believed that marriage should be based on religious beliefs and values, prioritizing compatibility in religious practices over other factors.
Both righteousness and wickedness are not common in terms of religious values, but they do share the common thread of God’s love. There is a misconception that Jesus only belongs to a set up of people who call themselves Christian. However, He ministers to everyone, regardless of their religious affiliation. He embraced the Gentiles and walked among them, breaking barriers and spreading His message of love and compassion. Jesus transcends religious boundaries and His sacrifice was for the sins of the entire world, regardless of our religious practices.
For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.
2 Corinthians 5:14-16
Sometimes, when we don’t let God decide who we should marry, we end up taking someone who God had kept for someone else. This affects the matching pattern designed by God, and people in utter confusion end up in a mismatched relationship. This can cause problems for both those who do not depend on God and those who rely on God. Those who trust in God’s plan for their spouse might not find them because someone else has chosen them against God’s will. Unfortunately, the world might see these people as unsuccessful or too picky.
Divorce
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Matthew 19:6
The importance of pairs and the example of Noah’s Ark highlight God’s intention for couples. Even in the case of animals and birds, the Spirit of God unites them together. In cases of mismatched marriages, God may choose to separate the mismatched couple and join them with the individuals He has made for each other.
Look in the scroll of the LORD and read:
Isaiah 34:16
None of these will be missing,
not one will lack her mate.
For it is his mouth that has given the order,
and his Spirit will gather them together.
People, by solemnizing their marriages at the place of worship, assume that God has approved it. Regarding divorce, they believe that humans should not separate what God has united. Moreover, Jesus warned the couple He made one flesh to stay away from sexual immorality. And as such, a divorced couple, if remarried, would be considered adulterous.
Initially, these mismatched couples did not seek God’s favour for their marriage. But now, when God has decided to reconcile them, they are wrongly adhering to His instruction. These instructions are for the couple joined together by God, and these are not applicable to couples married against the will of God. This shows us how we make things complicated by not allowing God to carry out His will in our lives.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:6&9 (NIV)
God helps His children who believe in His forgiveness. People outside of God’s family live immorally to satisfy their desires. Jesus once encountered a samaritan woman who had multiple husbands and was currently with someone who was not her husband. Jesus wanted to save her, and He wants to save His children from being in relationships that God did not choose.
To receive guidance from God, we should follow His example rather than relying solely on perpetuated rituals. Jesus taught us that we can worship God from any place, for He is a spiritual being, and it is important to worship Him sincerely and truthfully. By doing so, God can guide us and align our lives with His plans.
Marriage Vows
Some people have questions about the vows couples take in their marriage when they go against those vows. God does not ask anyone to take an oath in any form but instead asks us to simply obey Him and lead a truthful life. God emphasizes His purpose in every marriage and asks the couples to live a holy life in His sight. It is important to live in His presence rather than get married in His presence.
Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. “The man who hates and divorces his wife, ” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
Malachi 2:15-16 (NIV)
God has redeemed us through the sacrifice of His Son, and as believers, our body and spirit are dedicated to God. It is important for us to willingly obey Him, forsaking any practices that are contrary to His will. God opposes marriages that are not in alignment with His plan and intervenes to restore them according to His design. However, He also cautions against harming the spouse whom He has given as a gift to us. Let us ask God to help us overcome our selfish desires and instead seek to fulfill only His will.
The Jordan Valley 
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